Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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