Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
