worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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