tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
This toilet bowl is my home.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
