i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He better not be in your backpack
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
