So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
