Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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