you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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