I want to make a zoo with you.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
