We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
