just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
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