I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
