Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
