u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
