When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
