U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Ladies don't puke and tell
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
