How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I currently don't understand fingers.
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