Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
