dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
