So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
