guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
The power of my boobs compel you
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
