Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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