Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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