you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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