At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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