The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
