yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
