So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
