I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
