Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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