god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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