What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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