So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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