I want to stick my p in your. b.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
