Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
