you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
