Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
