I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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