he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
