Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
