So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
