3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
My dick has a subreddit
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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