I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
