consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
