if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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