I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
The struggles of a small town man whore
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
