I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
