I showed him my bush... on skype.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
