just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
