you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
