this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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